I hesitate to blog about what I'm about to say, as I don't think it is typically appropriate to get too personal, but I need some insight into other's lives in order to figure this out. If you're willing to share, I am eternally grateful!
I chose to be a teacher because I wanted to make a difference in some one's life and I adore and respect children. I knew that at age 17. I don't know what happened to the effort I used to put into trying to make a difference. I was so motivated and excited when Ryan and I lived in Baltimore and I was teaching in an inner city school, even though we could barely afford to eat and our apartment was infested with mice. After being in the real world for a while, I grew to feel that the teaching profession is not about the children, but more political than I wanted to deal with (and now I'm a government contractor...how ironic). I moved away from teaching because it wasn't just about the kids anymore. I didn't know how to deal with the politics and make it about the kids again. Unfortunately, another reason I left teaching was because I saw an opportunity to make more money in instructional design. I can't go back at this point, because it was a good financial decision and having a good-paying job will make the difference between Ryan and I buying a house and affording a family and a life, or not. I don't want that responsibility, but I've accepted it for what it is.
Last night, I was watching the Oprah special about the Girl's Leadership Academy that she has created in South Africa and I just started to cry, many times. It made me realize all of the things I have just explained and also that I'm missing something huge that I desperately need in my life!
Many people who know me well, think that I'm often upset because my mom died almost two years ago, because I miss my family and my home, because I'm selfish that I can't have the things I want right now (a house and kids), and because my expectations are too high for myself and everyone else in my life...and I thought it was all of those things too, until now. I'm sure that those things contribute to the way I feel, but I don't think it is that simple anymore. That's not why I feel so empty, and having money and all the things that I want...isn't really what I want.
I really want to make a difference in life. Nothing that I am doing is helping anyone or contributing to anything significant. I need to change that! I need to change my path and find the drive to make a difference again! I just don't know how to go about it.
I have to keep on the career path that I've fallen into, for the future family I know I will have. I am talking about something much bigger than simply volunteering to teach Sunday School, but not as big as traveling the world to adopt babies with special needs or creating my own Leadership Academy (although both would be ideal).
I am absolutely serious about this! I want suggestions and even stories if you can share...about how you would (or do) attempt to make a difference!
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Making a Difference
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Going from not working for a year (laid off) to getting a job, to having a house, and now having a kid I think the most important thing is to be happy in whatever your doing. Saving money and having a great paying job is important for the house and kid, but I think being happy in what your doing trumps all of that in a second.
We made a financially poor decision by having Kaz be a stay at home Mom and it's been rough on the money front. But she is much happier and Owen is so much better off having a parent at home. So we made some sacrifices to build a happier family. I'm not saying you need to be a stay at home mom. But I am saying that if you are happy at what you are doing, whether your job or volunteer on the side, it will pay off ten fold in your family with a kid. I firmly believe if you show how happy you are at what you do, your kid will learn that and try to use that throughout his/her life.
Money and houses are good, but happiness is so much better. You don't need a house to have a family, and you don't need lots of money to have a family. Trust me, you are never ready mentally, emotionally, or financially to have kids. (Or a house for that matter.)
The best way I think to make a difference is to make money doing what you love. It seems you wanted to be a teacher to make a difference and maybe you can do that, but in a different way now. There are plenty of places to volunteer to help kids that aren't structured around a typical school setting. Maybe tutoring. Maybe get enough experience teaching and then start your own charter school where you can dictate how things should be done without the politics you got so tired of. If you make your job the think you want to do, that will fulfill you in many ways.
I think whatever you do, you should start now, even if it is small and one hour a week. Then as you get into helping, you will find other bigger ways to fulfill the need to make a difference. I think more people should feel like making a difference beyond their own lives. I admire you for wanting to influence people for the better.
I really appreciate you sharing your stories, George. Many people wouldn't want to be honest about where they've been and where they are headed. It really helps to see the world from someone else's eyes, especially since you've already been where we're heading.
You are right that happiness is more important than anything else. I need to embrace the things I have to be thankful for more than I do, but I'm generally happy and content with life. So I think doing something like volunteering will work wonders for my need to help and make me appreciate things more.
You are also correct that I should get involved now. I started some research yesterday and I do plan to act quickly, so I'll keep you posted. I know my sudden intense desire to make a difference didn't just appear, I just realized how important it is. Unfortunately, when I decide to do something, it usually isn't a small undertaking, I feel the need to take on the world all at once and tackle the issue as quickly and precisely as I can. But truly getting involved doesn't work that way, and I need to be satisfied with starting small and like you said, I may find bigger ways to make a difference as I get more into it.
Thanks, George! You've really helped give me some direction!
I, personally, like to find my happiness in the bottom of a bottle. (Sorry Erin, I'm in a mood and couldn't resist!)
Bottles are great, but barrels are better!
Post a Comment